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| My life has been a roller coaster the last few months. A ravinous roller coaster filled with the most breath-taking highs and the most gut-wrenching lows. Most of the world knows my downfalls and weaknesses, but no one seams to know how hard it is. So much is expected of some people failure becomes inexcusable. Failure is not an option for some people. This truly makes life difficult. Knowing that if you fail those around you lose faith and those you love question your abilities hurts. It hurts a lot. I have fallen, and I have failed. I have failed in the eyes of the world. These last months have been me living for the world and trying to please everyone. Those who love me had lost faith and I burned bridges. All in the pursuit of things I know will not make me happy. I thank those who have stayed with me and brought me through the valley.
Last night God showed me all is not lost and my body does belong to him. My knees do not have enough cartilage to function normally. My bones grind if I run too far. Last night God told me it was my time to be tested, to see if I am ready. So I ran. I ran until it hurt. I ran until I felt the bones scraping. I ran until I felt my tendons give out. I ran until God told me I was done. I've never felt more pain in my life, but God lead me. He took my pain and made it his own. His spirit filled me and I felt nothing. I didn't feel my lungs, I didn't feel my throat sticking together, and I no longer felt the pain of the world. All together I ran 10 miles last night, non-stop. After a little over a quarter of a mile God took over.
I have been praying about life. I know God has a plan for each of us. For years I've thought that plan was set in stone for me, that some how I was different than the rest of the world. That perhaps God instilled in me my drive so I could start early, start on my mission for him. Right now I don't know that for sure. Yes I, the Great Luke, the one who always has direction and focus. The one that everyone knows will succeed. I admit it. I DO NOT KNOW. I lay flat on my face every night crying out to God to give me my focus again, but I fear his focus is not where I want to be. The strings of my heart have been tugged in another direction. Could I be a pastor? Could I be the one to start a revolution? Are my gifts in the business world really tools I should use to bring back American values? Am I a politician? Am I an English teacher? Honestly I do not know.
I do know that I am thankful. I am thankful for my gifts. I am thankful for my friends. I am thankful for my family. I am thankful for my job. I am thankful for paying rent every month. I am thankful for abundance. I am thankful for life itself. And right now I am most thankful for Amanda Wittenbach. Amanda, you have stayed with me through thick and through thin. You are a true friend. I love you with all of my heart. Now that you are my girlfriend and we have started a journey together I couldn't be happier. I truly believe this is the path I am meant to be on, the path of the righteous.
Never have I loved doing what is easy. I have always gone the hard way and made it seam easy. I will fight for what is good. I will fight to remain pure and holy. I will fight to remain moving forward. I will
"forget what is behind and look forward to what is ahead, I pursue my goal"
Phillipians 3:13-14
My struggles are not over, life is struggle. I do not know my short term goal. But I do know that my goal is to Praise the Lord! I will do everything to please him. I have always taken pride in my self control. My ability to overcome pain, love, or anything standing in my way to complete my goals. This time I have God helping me overcome. Running 10 miles through blood sweat and tears is nothing. The most pain I can feel is nothing. The things of this world are nothing. With God I know anything is possible. My encouragement is the simple truth that God CAN do anything. My drive is no longer my career. My drive is no longer to get ahead. My drive is to serve. I will serve the Lord God Almighty every day of my life.
I hope I can be an encouragement to you all. When things are rough, when the world is caving in around you...let it..let the world fall. We are not of this world. We are the children of God. When the world fails you God is there. He has never failed, and never will. Take sollice in knowing God is Great.
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| A whole lot has been happening lately, that would be why I haven't posted in almost a month. Between track, school, work, and weekends I don't have much down time. As of late it seams as though everyone I knows' computer is broken...so I fix a lot of extra computers outside of work. (free of charge)
My car will be painted by the end of the month, even if I have to kill a man to get the money for it. Dark blue. Also I have decided that I will be calling my next car Collette, that is really a beautiful name.
Oblivion for xbox 360 takes ALL of my down time. One word summary, AMAZING! Nothing like a little escapism after a longs day's work.
Still single and not a date, suppose its cheaper but I must say...I do miss the company of the fairer sex. Oh well, I have my sights set on my future right now, not women. Whatever happens happens and I'll welcome it. Good day to you ladies and gents, I am off to purchase a new cigar...much excitement as it is a Drew Estate Java...that means coffee and tobacco, currently two of my favorite things. (only cigar tobacco of course, cigarettes are still gross)
"Never live without a purpose, and never die without a cause"
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| Well some of you may not know I've been in Florida for the better part of a week...twas a wondrous time of adventures and romance. Those are, in fact two of my favorite things! I'm not sure if anyone realizes how much good restaurants cost...over 5 days I spent close to $150 on food! That's quite a little chunk of change for something that only lasts a few hours. On to an adventure...my friend Zach and I decided we needed to walk down International Drive in Orlando, good plan. We heard a band and saw spotlights so we figured that would be a good direction to go, and we were not disappointed. The spotlights were to a club and the music was from a marching band playing in a pitch black alley...not much sense but still a sight. Further adventuring lead to the "Sunglass Perfume" store (exact title) There we made a friend in the clerk. I wanted to try some Lacoste blue and after I tried some the clerk said "Yes Lacoste blue is good but RED is where its at." Lacoste red just so happens to be my signature/favorite scent in the whole world. Only cool cats like Lacoste, so this guy was obviously cool! Alas it was time to continue adventuring, only moments into our trek outside the store my friend Melissa calls, in distress! She was at a restaurant with some friends and they didn't want to walk to our hotel alone...I hate seeing damsels in distress so I vowed to save her! Zach and I returned to our Lacoste friend to see where said restaurant was located. Turns out its about a 20 minute walk from the hotel, and another 10 from our current location. Our friend informed us of a bus stop, we thank him, and turned to leave. Right then he told us he would close the store really quick and give us a ride. Nice guy. We sat outside waiting for him and two lonely cars sat in the parking lot...a beautiful green Mustang and a rather ugly van...*suspense*...green Mustang! We drove at least 200 miles an hour down a cramped alley...amazing! We saw a local police officer and he showed us his lights...but some quick driving by our friend lead to our elusion of the police! After a short ride we arrived safely at the restaurant and proceeded to walk with our friends back to the hotel...I do have some amazing adventures ladies and gents!
To keep this post short I'm afeared this portion will be downsized. It seams as though I am being promoted at Dow, either that or just moved to a better paying department...pension and benefits! More news on how that works out later.
Link to my Florida trip photos ---------------------> here<----------------------- "My only wish is that if I die some else pick up my gun and fight"
Che
*quick note...I've been on a diet for track and lost 15 pounds so far!
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| Loving has always been my weakest asset. I just don't feel love the way I know I am supposed to. Recently I've been able to love a tiddle bit more. Could this be due The Fountainhead, by Ayn Rand. Yes, yes it could be in part due to that. Finally someone is reading this book! I honestly believe The Fountainhead is one of the worlds greatest books. Our exchange student at school is currently reading this wondrous book. Books are amazing. They can take us to worlds that could never be, or inform us on ones that we can never see. Even the God's Word is a book!
Legos...gotta love em. I love making things of blue and white legos, and if you disagree than you are a terrible person. While on the phone with my friend Melissa I found she also loves blue and white legos, score! Believe it or not all my lego creations had to be blue and white...no other colors needed, mam! (except the occasional black piece) So go go legos!
Got my scholarship monies information...I won't divulge too many details for fear of boastary...but God hath provided! Provided enough to go to Northwood and SVSU, if I so please! /huge grin
Still lookin' for an apartment...and a roommate.
Much love to Stephen Allan Roberson...your my boy!
Well good luck with life ladies and gents!
"I am not a prophet, but I have prophetic dreams"
Huey Freeman
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